I did not expect to enjoy this book. I was envisaging a laborious read. I knew I would have to finish it - I can never leave a book unfinished - but I thought I would do so grudgingly, dragging my heels and skimming the whole way through. I pigeon-holed it on reading the title as a self-help book, and I have not got an entirely positive view of self-help books ever since my mum sent me a copy of 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' while I was living in student halls. That really marked me out as normal. Thanks Mum.
But actually it does not belong in the self-help category at all. It is a thought-provoking and life-altering read. No longer do I think that I am a bit weird. Now I know I am introverted and weird.
The basic premise of Susan Cain's theory is that 'society misunderstands and undervalues the traits and capabilities of introverted people leading to a colossal waste of talent, energy and happiness'. This is because the Western culture prizes extroverts, believing it is better to be gregarious, assertive and outgoing while introversion is viewed as inferior, sometimes even pathological.
Introversion is not necessarily the same as shyness although the two often go hand in hand - an introverted person simply prefers lower levels of stimulation. Dinner with a friend as opposed to a party, one on one chats instead of a group debate, reading a book over skiing. Pretty wild. An introvert can have good social skills and enjoy parties, but after a time they become overstimulated and wish they were at home in their pyjamas. Oh my goodness when I read this bells went off for me, I am always wishing I was at home in my pyjamas! Even on my wedding day I had pyjamas on and cup of tea in hand by 10pm (it was a long day, especially for an introvert).
I found this book challenging to read but I enjoyed the challenge - it's quite scientific - filled with research and studies to back up the argument, so I had to read it in short bursts. But I really looked forward to my next instalment of it and bored my husband to death talking about it in between. What I read would stay with me throughout the following day and you can't help thinking about it. It's going to take a 2nd, 4rd and 4th sitting before I can assimilate it all.
Why is it that introversion is viewed so negatively? Why are we made to feel like we should aspire to being extroverted? Why do I feel guilty that I may have passed on my introversion to my daughter?
This book makes you reevaluate introversion as an equally valuable and valid personality trait. It describes many notable introverts who have contributed to society - Rosa Parks and J K Rowling to name two. The world needs introverts.The basic premise of Susan Cain's theory is that 'society misunderstands and undervalues the traits and capabilities of introverted people leading to a colossal waste of talent, energy and happiness'. This is because the Western culture prizes extroverts, believing it is better to be gregarious, assertive and outgoing while introversion is viewed as inferior, sometimes even pathological.
Introversion is not necessarily the same as shyness although the two often go hand in hand - an introverted person simply prefers lower levels of stimulation. Dinner with a friend as opposed to a party, one on one chats instead of a group debate, reading a book over skiing. Pretty wild. An introvert can have good social skills and enjoy parties, but after a time they become overstimulated and wish they were at home in their pyjamas. Oh my goodness when I read this bells went off for me, I am always wishing I was at home in my pyjamas! Even on my wedding day I had pyjamas on and cup of tea in hand by 10pm (it was a long day, especially for an introvert).
Consider then that while introverts perform best in quiet, low-stimuation environments, our workspaces and education settings are biased to favour extroverts - the fashion is for open plan offices and schools, school desks arranged in pods, group thinking, group projects and so on. Everything is geared up to support extroverts. The book calls for a change, highlighting the need to build in 'restorative niches' into the introvert day to recharge after being in a stimulating environment. This could mean creating little low stimulation nooks in classrooms where children can go to be alone for a bit, reading or listening to headphones. Offices should allow people to be alone as well as to socialise, so open plan areas for the extroverts but also corners where introverts can retreat to.
I found this book challenging to read but I enjoyed the challenge - it's quite scientific - filled with research and studies to back up the argument, so I had to read it in short bursts. But I really looked forward to my next instalment of it and bored my husband to death talking about it in between. What I read would stay with me throughout the following day and you can't help thinking about it. It's going to take a 2nd, 4rd and 4th sitting before I can assimilate it all.
I really enjoyed this book and I think any introvert would benefit from reading it, but it would also be good for extroverts to read to understand better their introvert friends and family. I would also recommend Susan Cain's TED talk which sums up the book very succinctly.
Disclaimer - I was sent my copy of the book for free for the purposes of this review, all opinions are my own.
Disclaimer - I was sent my copy of the book for free for the purposes of this review, all opinions are my own.
Shouldn't self help books be thought provoking ;-)
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